


Understand How I Feel

by Rushi_Rush



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Also felix is sad for like two paragraphs, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eliminations, Emotional Hurt, Even minsung dont say much, Hallelujah, How Do I Tag, Hurt No Comfort, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I also mentioned changjin, Im sorry i mentioned the e word, Jisung and minho belong together, Lee Minho | Lee Know-centric, Legit everyones mentioned, Love, M/M, Mainly leeknow centric but it changes a little, Multi, Soulmates, Theres also chanlix, blink and you will miss it, but its like one sentence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-09-02 01:04:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16776529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rushi_Rush/pseuds/Rushi_Rush
Summary: Minho's never felt any different for Jisung. Maybe he just hasn't noticed it yet.(Basically Minho being sad and then somehow something happens and Minsung end up together)





	Understand How I Feel

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so hello! Its currently 5.50 am and moms going to be waking up soon and im going to get my ass whooped. I wrote this in the past hour. I was suddenly hit with inspo and this was born. Excuse any mistakes please my sleepy brain cannot comprehend so many of them.
> 
> Comments and kudos are appreciated!!
> 
> I love you all but i really gotta sleep now uwu ♡♡♡

Ever since he had been eliminated, no matter what he did, Minho always felt like there was this shadow behind him, towering above him, waiting for him to mess up. And when he did, the shadow, within seconds, consumed him, leaving behind nothing except dark thoughts.

By know, he should have gotten over it. It had been months and he had debuted, having over 2 comebacks as a group of 9, Stray Kids. But everytime a camera came up to focus on him, it took him back to the time when he had tried but not hard enough, and as a result, he was separated from his friends.

Everytime he remembers his elimination, he goes back to it, watches it over and over again, uses it as motivation to work harder. But he can’t deny the fact that when he was gone, his members had fun. Without him. He hoped they would have been sad, missing him as he, them, but when he watches the show back, they all look so good performing as 8. 

Minho can't lie.Somewhere, deep down, he had felt jealous. Jealous that his members were doing so well without him. It only proved that he was unnecessary, he was just an addition, he did not contribute anything to the group, except the fact that he made everyone look better, more talented with his mediocrity. 

It's been so long and yet he cant help himself from thinking this way. Everytime he sees his members having fun by themselves, his heart breaks a little more. It reminds him of his unimportance. If he wasn't there, they would have been happy. Meanwhile, he would be wallowing in grief, cursing himself for not working hard enough and taking away the smallest chance he had at a family that loved him.

But thats all in the past and Minho’s trying his best to move past that… episode in his life. Everytime the shadow makes its presence known, Minho surrounds himself with his best friends, knowing that the light they radiate is strong enough to make any shadow disappear and he is right. When he feels himself slipping off into his thoughts, he finds himself cuddling Jisung, holding hands with Woojin or teasing Changbin and in the midst of all the chaos, the shadow sulks off because Minho’s mind is too occupied with all the thoughts of his members that there's no space for any self doubt. 

His members bring out the best of him and with them, Minho can get past anything. Actually, almost anything. 

In the beginning, to Minho, all his members were equal. He loved them all in unique ways and he was quite content with that. Until one day.

That one day would remain engraved in Minho’s memory, never to be forgotten.

It had started off as a simple day, waking up at the crack of dawn, getting ready and rushing off to whatever schedule they had that day. After they were done with that, the members would split off into groups and go ahead to practice whatever they wanted. Usually Minho and the rest of the dance line, Hyunjin and Felix, would end up in one of the practice rooms, going over older dances, learning new ones and making up random moves. They would usually help each other and once they were tired, they would slump against the mirrors and talk for the next hour or so. It was quite fun. They would share random facts with each other, stories from their childhood and during that time, one of their most favourite topic was the couple of Hyunjin and Changbin. 

They had just started dating two weeks ago then, and everyone was curious and hsd questions piled up about their relationship. During the talking, Felix asked Hyunjin what Changbin made him feel like. Felix had confessed to feeling differently for Chan and he wanted to know what liking someone felt like.There was no doubt that Hyunjin was head over heels for Changbin because as soon as his name came up, his eyes lit up and he started rambling about everything he felt when he was with Changbin. Minho was definitely interested in what Hyunjin was saying, he could collect dirt on Changbin through Hyunjin and then use it for blackmail later on. 

Though, a statement from Hyunjin stopped his evil train of thoughts and the couple of days after that he spent his entire time questioning everything he trusted.

Hyunjin had simply stated "Minho hyung doesnt need to know anything, he's already dating Sungie."

The statement apparently was hilarious because Felix and Hyunjin both burst out laughing after that, leaving Minho extremely confused. A simple statement had shaken Minho’s world and made him panicked.

What was up with this Minho and Jisung thing? For the next few days, he kept an eye out at everything he and Jisung did together. Yeah they cuddled a lot and platonically kissed each other on the cheek but that was normal, right? 

What isn't normal was the fact that now he was hyper aware of everything Jisung did. He had never noticed how much the boy stared at him or just his staring left Minho giddy, his stomach churning with nerves. Why had Minho not noticed this… this feeling before? Whenever he was with Jisung, they always seemed to be touching each other in some way, it could be cuddling, holding hands or just resting their heads on each others shoulders. These simple acts filled Minho’s heart with warmth he had never noticed before.

The clarity of his feelings for Jisung came, but not with a good companion. Minho didn't know what he would do with these developed feelings. He could never expect Jisung to reciprocate what he felt, because Minho was too cocky, hiding his insecurities behind a confident facade. Jisung would never like someone like him. Minho just wasn't good enough.

Jisung was so hard working and admirable and Minho was nowhere near that. He had gotten eliminated because of the fact that he wasn't hard working enough. The new feelings for Jisung brought up old feelings that Minho had long since forgotten. 

And after a month of being away from it, Minho went back to his elimination, wanting to torture himself by feeling worthless because of the actions on the screen. He didn't deserve Jisung. Jisung was too good, too talented for him and Minho would only bring him down. 

So he closed off his heart, making it stay away from the safety and content that Jisung brought with him. 

By now, almost everyone had noticed the change in Minho but they were too scared to confront him. They knew if they went up to talk to Minho, he would only close himself off. They let him be for some time, waiting, observing for a change and when it didn't occur, they had to do something. 

Generally, it was Chan and Woojin who talked to members when they were feeling down or unmotivated. But Minho was young. No. It wouldn't be enough if only Chan and Woojin went. They decided that Jisung would be a good choice, he was Minho’s best friend and knew him better than anyone else.

The confrontation went… not good. Even with Jisung by his side, Minho refused to open up, telling them he would be okay when he was anything but. He claimed it was something he would deal with on his own and if need be, he would ask for help. There wasn't much Chan and Woojin could do after that.

They had an inkling as to what was bothering Minho. 

Felix had also been eliminated and often times he would curl up with Chan and Woojin, whispering about how he thought he could never be enough and that JYP would kick him out. Felix had spent multiple nights with Woojin and Chan, sobbing for hours until he passed out from exhaustion.

Minho had always been closed off and he never expressed his feelings but Woojin and Chan believed he wasn't too far off from Felix, feeling sad about his elimination. It could be what was bothering him nowadays, making him smile less and frown more.

The rest of the members had tried helping in any way they could. Jeongin and Seungmin rambled on and on about non trivial things, Hyunjin became clingy with Minho, Changbin participated in teasing him. 

Minho couldn't deny that his members were adorable and he was glad that they were trying to cheer him up in ways they could. But the one person he had expected a response from, had given him none. Jisung just seemed far away most of the times with a wistful expression on his face and as much as Minho ignored it, he liked Jisung and that expression only made Minho frustrated. Jisung didn't deserve to look that sad.

Minho put aside his feelings the next day and went up to Jisung. He had to help somehow. When he asked Jisung what was wrong, his reply caught him off guard. 

Jisung stared at him and then in a soft voice had said "Nothing's okay. How could anything be okay if the one person that means the world to me is not okay?" 

The words were spoken so softly like Jisung was too afraid of saying them but he had to. Minho had no idea what to make of that and the confusion must have shown on his face because Jisung was confirming his thoughts in the next second. 

"Hyung, you arent okay."

Minho meant the world to Jisung? That was new. He had never thought Jisung could ever feel anything like this for Minho. 

"But why do I mean the world to you, Jisung?" Minho had asked him, not expecting a reply.

But Jisung had other plans."Why would you not mean the world to me, hyung? You are my best friend. You have always been by my side, helping me when I myself didn't know I needed it. Hyung, you are the best you know that? You know me so well and I don't have to say anything for you to understand how I feel."

Jisung grabbed his hand and laced their fingers together.

"Understand me, hyung."

And oh did Minho understand. He understood too well. With Jisung looking at him with so much love, Minho couldn't believe he ever doubted this, ever doubted Jisung’s love for him. It didn't matter if Minho deserved Jisung or not, they were meant to be and no one could change that.

He and Jisung had always belonged to each other, ever since they met. The only difference was that at first they weren't aware of it. But things were different now. They knew they belonged with each other.

Holding hands with Jisung, Minho knew, no matter what happened, Jisung would always be by his side, helping him, understanding him, even if Minho didn't say much.

They didn't need words to understand how each other felt.


End file.
